Q & A with Robina

QUESTION

Dearest Robina:

I hope this email finds you well. I am swimming in difficult oceans… I would really appreciate your advice. This is the situation.

Basically, I've been having a relationship with my spiritual teacher. Recently I discovered that she's having relationships with a lot of students and that’s only in my city. Such a big disappointment, I feel so stupid.

It’s been like opening the pandora’s box.

So, I’ve been trying these last days to deal with the situation with compassion, love, to practice patience, to accept the reality.

But at the same time, I am struggling on how to be patient and compassionate with this woman, and with one of the other teachers who's been so generous to me and to whom I am so grateful; he was the door to the Dharma for me. I can’t help to think that he knew and even so he permitted her to continue to be out there, and not only that but he gave her a validation as a teacher. They have both led meditations and teachings so he was in a position of authority.

I am an adult and I take responsibility for my acts and their consequences; nobody forced me to do anything. But I guess my problem now is that I am disappointed with both of them; they are both the people that most closely have guided my path in Dharma.

This is shocking news.

I am doing the best I can, I am fine. Dharma practice is such a treasure, dear Robina. Ten years ago this would have maybe destroyed my spirit, not now.

But still, tough days.

Any advice would be really appreciated dear Robina.

Lots of love and gratitude,

H

ANSWER

Dearest H,

Happy to hear from you!

I think the best approach is to see everything that you have received from her as a teaching. Interpret it that way. The Dharma, the sex, the closeness, everything.

Same with your other teacher.

If you can do that, then there’s nothing to be disappointed about. Disappointment only comes because of some unrealistic expectation, which is a function of attachment.

Not easy, of course, but possible.

What do you think, H?

Much love,

Robina

QUESTION

Dearest Robina,

I was at your teachings on Zoom recently, so thank you so much Robina. It was such a powerful reminder, a blessing. I am really grateful and humble.

So much work to do, Robina!

I realize how easily I can be distracted by the small things, so easy to fall into the drama and miss the real opportunity.

So... of course I understand there's no room for disappointment, no room for the small drama, and yes I am experiencing it now as a big teaching.

So, this is my karma Robina, I regret my behavior and I wish I hadn't done it, but now here I am.

Would you suggest a practice that I can do to purify this?

Also, a question, what can I do to help this woman and to prevent what she will suffer in the future?

Love and gratitude,

H

ANSWER

You’re doing well with it, H.

And there’s nothing you can do to help this woman — she has to help herself! Leave her alone.

And the Vajrasattva purification practice is good: REGRET your actions because you don't want the suffering. RELIANCE: Rely on the Buddha and have compassion for those you've harmed. REMEDY: do the visualization and recite mantra. RESOLVE to change and learn from your experience!

Love,

Robina