Q & A with Robina

Amitahba Buddha at Kopan Nunnery in Kathmandu. Photo: Ven. Katy Cole.

QUESTION Dear Robina,

I hope my email finds you well. I am continuing along the beginner stage, very junior school. I’m wondering if you could offer some guidance. An incident has happened involving my daughter, and I find myself in a state of anger as I feel an injustice has been done. My daughter, although not studying Buddhism, seems far more advanced than me and is not angry and totally accepting of the situation. In fact, she stated that she should have done more for the person. It is very raw at the moment and although I am totally aware of what I am feeling, I am having difficulty changing this mind set. The person has just died and it is to do with the will.                                                          

I greatly appreciate any guidance.

VEN. ROBINA Good to hear from you.

I understand the situation! I bet you’re angry that you dear daughter was left out of the will. 

But if she truly does feel the way she feels, that she doesn’t feel badly done by, then, wow, you can only rejoice in her good heart.

So, be brave. Hear your own anger and hurt – and it’s understandable. But do your best not to believe in what your anger is saying - “how dare they do that to her!” Etc. etc. etc. 

It’s easy to say it but so hard to realize: the angry thoughts are hurting no one but you.

And, if you can, have compassion for the person who didn’t leave money in the will – because they hurt himself, no one else.

Much love to you, and courage,
Robina